It happened when I decided that I needed to forget about everything and simply follow my hearts deepest desire. Today at thirty-nine years young, the demands on my time have decreased. It took me a little while to adjust to my new, quieter lifestyle. The state I was in is sometimes referred to as empty nest syndrome. My mind and emotions began to haywire on me and I found myself in an endless swirl and twirl of negative thinking that just about drove me to suicide.
It was the suicidal thoughts that frightened me most. Somewhere deep inside I knew I would never take my own life but I needed to find a way to turn things around. I was not this person, I was a happy go lucky chick who always found enough strength and energy to help myself and those I love through anything. I was a spiritual person who knew how to go inside myself and turn things around.
I sought more positive messages, began to take care of my health and my body, and set aside quiet time each day to meditate. I did a lot of reading on my favorite sites and found the messages I needed in articles, and on blogs. I went back in my mind to the times I felt the happiest and began to allow that happiness to fill me up each day.
The question I asked over and over was who are you on a purely soul level? The answer was a loving and caring human being, who is capable of many things and can master any task with ease. Each day a new answer would crop up and I would embrace it. I am comfortable in my own skin, I like to try new things, I can take risks and make mistakes without letting those things diminish me. I began to treat myself with a greater sense of respect and dignity.
I just completed my first dream project, bigger than anything I had dared to dream before, the stepping stone for an unlimited and abundant life. Change is good. Different is good. The journey is exhilarating. I am free!
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